Saturday, June 9, 2007
Review: And Baby Makes Three by John Gottman, Ph.D.
I've said before how much I love John Gottman. As a couples therapist, I counsel primarily on the concepts that have been studied and proven to work by this brilliant man. He is one of the only marital therapists alive who is actually studying results in scientific studies and can tell us without a doubt what works and what doesn't.
This is his newest book. I have a few couples making the transition to parenthood right now, so I thought I'd read it to see if anything is new. Considering that there is a 67% drop in marital satisfaction after the first child is born, something should be done! In our society, we do all kinds of things to prepare for baby, but no action is usually taken to prevent the marital distress that usually follows the first child into the world.
This book, as expected, is wonderful for new parents to read to normalize what is happening in their relationship and to open up subjects for discussion. Many things, previously taken for granted (like good sex), now have to be renegotiated. The conversation might be easier to start if it can start with "So what did you think about what he said about x?"
If you're having a baby, or if your first child sent your relationship into a tailspin and you can't figure out why, I implore you to read this book.